Spiritual Red Lights

Taking time to reconcile and find meaning in the stops taken when life asks us to wait.

Here’s a talk I shared near the end of 2023, as a follow up from a previous piece, “Spiritual Green lights,” touching on the complimentary theme, “Spiritual Red lights.”

Earlier this year, I spoke about the topic of spiritual green lights. I’d like to recap some of those thoughts to set the stage and foundation for my remarks today, which I’ve titled, “Spiritual Red Lights.”

From time to time, especially as I’m approaching a turn or a crossroads, God will lovingly reach out to show me as if it were with a stoplight, an indication on whether or not I’m able to go ahead.

There are red lights - “Stop! Do not proceed! Or if you do this is going to hurt.”

And green lights - “Go! Yes! This is meant for you. Here’s where you belong.”

And of course, the occasional yellow - that feels more like a “well, it doesn’t really matter all too much, so this one’s up to you.”

Spiritual green lights have come to me in many different ways. Sometimes it’s a conversation with a friend, a quote I hear - often in conferences there will be several things that jump out to me in a very personal and intimate way; a bumper sticker, or a line in a song. But when I strive to have an open mind and an open heart - and cultivate the earth in my heart, God can plant those ideas and let them grow to fruition. It’s not as much about what form those green lights take, but how they make us feel and eventually where they will lead us.

As is often the case as we begin a new year, fresh with hope and optimism, undiscovered futures yet to reveal themselves, I think at the time I was very focused on the green lights of the new year and the potential it held. Now as another year wraps up and concludes, I can look back and evaluate or appreciate the green lights, but am also forced to reconcile and find meaning in the red lights that exist as well.

There are green lights that turned yellow and then eventually red. Yellow lights that remained - or also in turn, changed to red. Red lights that flashed green again then back to red. Or the extra long red lights, that still remain red, or turned green, then yellow, than red before I was able to reach the intersection.

In my reflections, I’ve come to realize that it’s actually easier for me to detect God’s love in the red lights than it is in the green lights. With the green lights, I like to take the permissiveness as the happy, feel-good, reassurance of my path, confidence and agency - feeling like I’ve aligned with God’s will and that of the collective universe. But in reality, permissiveness takes less involvement sometimes on His part and I can sometimes forget the connection that is there.

But when I hit a red light, it’s an opposite experience. I don’t want to stand still. I don’t want to wait or be delayed. I want to go. But when I do the work to recognize the divine hand that is there - I see its protective intent and commitment to my eternal well-being and happiness.

After all - aren’t red lights there to protect us? No one would prefer to speed forward into an intersection into oncoming traffic, forcing a collision and possible death or severe injury. But of course, we often only focus on the single step ahead or how we feel in the present, not on the eventualities or possible outcomes.

At those moments where life appears to be giving me a red light, I’m coming to understand that these are the points where faith is redirected to develop the greater amounts of patience and humility - all of which I recognize after the fact were increasingly necessary for me in that moment.

Like the green lights, spiritual red lights can come in many different forms. Sometimes it’s plans that fall through, a person who disappoints you or an unanswered text or call. It can come with pain and heartbreak - hard conversations in with your partner, a job that pushes your breaking point or doesn’t work out, a bad social or life investment. Often, my initial reaction is stress, fear, anger and anxiety, underscoring my lack of the precise values and spiritual gifts I stand in need of.

It’s in these moments, where, if I am humble, I rediscover the enabling power of Christ’s grace. Having realized I’ve reached the end of my abilities - the limit of my character, I need a higher power to be able to make it through. To endure the wait with patience until that red light turns again to the green I want to see.

Here are a few more things I’ve observed and learned to keep in mind when it comes to waiting at a red light.

⁃ My understanding or appreciation for a red light almost never comes in the moment. It’s always afterwards, in a retrospective exercise that I see and appreciate its value and purpose. The limits of a perspective in the present allow us to make decisions, but don’t always account for every eventuality.

⁃ I must learn humility. I must trust God’s judgment above my own - and I should receive red lights with gratitude, based on this understanding that He is intervening for my safety, benefit and well-being. Were He to not put a red light, it would be a lack of love by omission.

⁃ I am free to run a red light, but there are very painful and potentially permanent consequences for running red lights.

⁃ Sometimes at a red light, we may need to “turn right” instead. What appears as a red light - may also have a green arrow as well - providing a different route than we expected or anticipated.

⁃ While I’m quick to ascribe green lights to my own good use of agency, I’m often to quick to “blame” others for the red lights in my life, rather than accepting that both are consequences of this experience.

I’d like to share a few more insights that have helped me access love and grace when facing spiritual red lights.

Christ is our Savior because He did what it takes to know how to save us. There is a “yes” in every circumstance when we add Him to our equation. By keeping this in mind, and striving to follow Him, to keep Him in my heart and love as He has loved me, I’ve found new ways of living. I’ve also found, through experiences, that those quick instant directions come less often than not, or when they do it’s often so subtle it’s unnoticeable until after the fact

I’ve also thought about how Jesus dealt with the red lights He faced in His life. When faced with opposition, delay, struggles, faithlessness, betrayal, He showed His character, turning outward instead of inward. He persisted. He ran to His Father in prayer. He was acutely aware of the importance of timing and respected this, knowing that there was a season and moment appointed for everything. Yes, He was troubled at times, but He never allowed those troubles to disrupt His calmness, His peace, His focus on doing what was right and good.

Life is complete because of both the spiritual green and red lights. Christ saves us and enables us in both circumstances. His love is omnipresent as is His influence on us - regardless of whether or not we choose to or are capable of recognizing it.

While we love to move and go fast and speed along on our journey with as many green lights we can string together, I’ve also found that red lights give us a moment to pause and reflect. There’s time and space for reflection and conversation, time to consider our direction and destination. Sometimes, when life gives us silence, we must learn to take it and transform it into solitude, finding deeper meaning and communion in the quiet.

I also want to share a few words of comfort and hope to any of you who may feel overwhelmed or burdened by the apparent red lights that might exist in your life. Red lights can be hard, painful, unfair, disappointing, reoccurring and seem to be never ending. Its tough. One of the great truths of eternity, is that those will not last forever. They have an end point. They are finite. God will not leave us to suffer or endure without limitation. The plan is for our happiness, our eternal life. Pain, guilt, sorrow and difficulty are part of this life - but the hope of every soul is that we will someday dwell in a never ending state of happiness.

And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it. ⁃ Mosiah 2:41

A dear friend of mind is about to begin the painful process of divorce, by no fault of their own. The other night we were talking about this long, unexpected and unchosen journey that lies ahead.

Together we recognized that sometimes it’s the journeys we don’t choose, that turn out to be our greatest adventures. God loves to take situations that seem bleak, impossible or insurmountable, and demonstrate His power and rectify them to be wonderful successes. “To believe in God is to trust that all His laws are just - and that at the end of it all there are beautiful surprises that await us.”

My invitation is to do this: begin each day with forgiveness. Forgive yourself, forgive those in your life. Ask God to forgive you for your faults and your shortcomings, your mistakes and sins. In doing so, you’ll find an ever-flowing abundance of peace, hope, comfort, strength and joy.

I find that as I do a forgiveness inventory, I recognize the ways in which I am lacking and it directs me to turn to God and depend more wholly on Him. I see evidence of God in my necessity as a mortal being for His grace and perfection to make up the difference for my shortcomings. The fact that I am imperfect, but growing, learning and progressing - teaches me more intimately of His perfect character, grace, and being. Also, as I intentionally give and receive self-love, I open myself up to receive more of God’s love.

As we look ahead on the road of life - whether it be today, this week, this month or this upcoming year, we may see a mixture of lights - both red and green - possibly even a fleeting yellow. Let us all keep in mind that this is the joy of life. Regardless of the color, they are intentional parts of our journey and will allow us to proceed in a safe and constructive manner.

I know that the power of love is real. I know that even when there are red lights, they are for our good. All of the experiences we have in this life - whether painful and hard, or pleasurable, happy and easy will be for our eternal benefit. God’s character is to take anything and through the power of His love improve it to reach its happiest possible condition.

God is our Great Navigator. He is there. He is with you. You are never alone.